Be Curious. Not judgmental. -Walt Whitman
I had an astrological reading last week to reassure myself I had the support of the planets, to kick some serious ass in the art world. You’re laughing, I hear you all the way from here. That’s okay. I am accustomed to this. My son rolls his eyes at me, and my brother googles possible signs of insanity when I mention anything related to horoscopes, planets or the unlimited resources the universe provides. I am used to the skeptic. I actually thrive on their skepticism.
The reading was full of optimism and total support from the planets I am aligned with. I learned I have Gemini in my first house, which apparently explains why I am a creative and have the ability to change so easily whether it be moving, careers, and of course, the canvas. I am extremely curious. I always have been. I love to figure out how things are made, how others think and feel, how to connect something bigger than just me. The reader told me I was born to create through the written word and canvas. I absolutely LOVE learning. I am a student for life. I have said for a long time, “If I am not learning, I am dead”. This constant desire to learn, has helped me in dipping my toes in so many arenas. I cannot and will not listen to judgements of others. Such a toxic environment to hang out in.
For over fifteen years I was a professional intuitive healer. I loved what I did for a living! And then the bottom fell out, I had a T.I.A. ( a mini-stroke) from an estrogen patch I was prescribed. I lost the ability to read and write (which I did every day). I would get massive headaches just from hearing one speak. For three months, I was terrified I would not ever be “normal” again. Afraid I would not be able to work again. I kept hearing a voice telling me to paint. I would argue with her. I would say, “I am not a painter” and every day I would hear her again ,”PAINT. PAINT. PAINT....” I was so locked in my thoughts and fears, I finally caved and went to get a book on art. Being the cheapskate I am, I went to the bookstore sale section and found an art book. It was how to learn Chinese brush art. I think the book was $6.99 and I got an additional 20% off, so you do the math... I am cheap! I then went and bought horse hair brushes and inks to begin. Not knowing, Chinese brush art is one of the most difficult styles of painting... but there I sat at the dining room table and I tried to learn to paint. My curiosity was larger than my ego, thank goodness. I didn’t sit and judge myself. I just listened to that voice, and I painted. I painted total crap, but I was in love with the process. Seeing colors come to life on the paper. I was totally hooked. My curiosity grew. If I would have sat in judgement of the work I did, I would not have overcome the fear to take art lessons, and learn from others. Not to mention, painting around strangers! Holy Shasta! My ego had a long list of why I should not learn a new skill this late in my game... eventually, I shut her down and went with curiosity.
Y’all. It isn’t too late, to learn. Don’t use the excuse, you don’t have time. We all have today and it is amazing. Remove the judgement you hold on yourself and especially others. Dare to share. Be curious. When I decided to become a working artist, people thought I was nuts. I set out with realistic and small goals, and I kept going.
If i judged myself with the typical negativity, “you’re too old” “your work sucks”,etc... I would still be hiding in my house painting with horse hair. Instead, I went with curiosity. I always will. In the words of good ol’ Walt, “Be curious. Not judgmental”.
Thank you for reading. I love you.